1. If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.
2. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
3. Natural disasters only occur after the local mayor scoffs at the possibility.
4. If an expert makes a prediction and is disbelieved, then it will come to pass exactly as he predicted. If he makes a prediction and is believed, it won't happen.
5. Women staying in a haunted house should investigate any strange noises while wearing their most revealing underwear.
6. Women's skin and hair can't be damaged by natural disasters, though their clothing can be shredded -- except for the bits required for minimal decency, which are made from completely indestructible fabric.
7. If a man and a woman are exposed to the same conditions and the same environment, the man will need to wear more clothing than the woman.
8. If a man and a woman meet under circumstances under which any two normal people would instantly hate each other, they will marry before the picture is over.
9. Deadly reptiles will always attack a woman first, even if she's in the presence of thirty men.
10. Women are immortal unless they take off their shirts or they're ugly.
06/09/08 @ 23:02